Can being needy actually be a good thing?

Of all the things in life that get under my skin, I would have to say that feeling weak or needy has been one of the hardest for me to get over. I used to hate having to admit when I needed help. There was something about saying “I cant do this on my own” that made my skin crawl.

We humans love doing things on our own terms don’t we? We will work ourselves to the bone if it means we get the pride of saying “I did it.” For me, this need to do everything on my own took a dark turn when I developed an anxiety disorder.

The first 30 years of my life, I didn’t trust anyone to protect me. I didn’t trust anyone to provide for me. So, the devil had a field day planting all sorts of “What If’s?” in my head and watching me spin myself into a frenzy trying to control things that were always out of my control. Even though I was a Christian when the anxiety disorder began, I had spent decades mentally protecting myself from the ‘terrors of night and arrows that fly by day’. Until I wound up in a mental trap that I had no ability to get myself out of.

I fought with God … man, did I fight with Him. For the longest time I was so mad and blamed Him for letting me end up in an anxiety disorder. Once I got past that, I then blamed Him for letting it drag on year after year.

Isn’t that great? Blaming God for causing the pain I endured from not trusting Him.

After several years, we got to the bottom of all my fears. Every worst case scenario, every “What If?” And I found one huge part of the problem was I was trying to deal with it all on my own.

I didn’t want to admit I needed Him.

I wasn’t sure if I could trust Him to protect me.

Even though I spent 4 years in torment from trying to protect myself, I still had reservations about surrendering all my heart to Jesus.

Once I did, I saw how beautiful it was to be in dependence on Him. He showed me it’s only when we step out of the way that He is truly able to show up as our Great Protector.

I learned that in order to receive His strength i first have to admit that I need it. I have to admit that I can’t do this life on my own. Then, His power will show up mightily and we will get to see the Bible come alive in a powerful way.

Maybe you’ve spent your life trying to “pull yourself by your boot straps” and wonder why you don’t have the peace Jesus is supposed to provide.

I get it. I did the same thing. The reality is we will never know peace apart from trusting Jesus. (Isaiah 26:3) He is the prince of peace. So without Him, the most we can hope for is a relaxing vacation in between our hectic work schedule.

So when we learn that and realize our strength, our hope and our joy – not to mention our very breath – depends on The Lord we can come to a place where feeling needy is no longer a bad thing.

In fact its a great thing. In our neediness we get to see our Father provide. In our weakness we get to see Him show up and be our strength. When we surrender our pride & let Him provide for us, all of the fears about His ability to care for us get washed away in a sea of His presence.

So, the place we want to hide the most is also the place, that once revealed, will bring the greatest freedom we’ve ever known!

🕊❤️ Beloved Rejoice

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